


Scratchy Sheets

by squidgie



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Humor, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-19 06:43:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2378660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squidgie/pseuds/squidgie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Rodney have a conversation in front of Elizabeth that has some life-changing consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scratchy Sheets

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dogeared](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogeared/gifts).



> Not betaed! Written from a sliver of an idea that was posted in dogeared's LJ.

Elizabeth looks up from her desk as she hears the outer door opening, with John and Rodney approaching. They were somehow remarkably early for the usual staff meeting; it rarely happened, and there was usually some mitigating reason behind it.

"I’m telling you, you _need_ to get new sheets, Rodney," John says as he enters.

Elizabeth raises an eyebrow at the conversation; she’s not sure she should be privy to it, but neither her Military Commander nor the city’s Chief Scientist have shirked away the conversation for privacy. In fact, they seem to be getting even more animated.

Sighing, Rodney replies, "First you complain about my prescription mattress, and now you’re complaining about my sheets? Seriously?"

John nods to Elizabeth, then turns and raises a hand to point to the back of his neck. "See that?" he says, Rodney pushing his hand away so that he can get a look at John’s collar.

"Yeah, so?" Rodney replies, crossing his arms. "So you scratched yourself; that’s not _my_ problem."

"No, idiot," John says, rolling his eyes. "Those scratches are from _your_ sheets, McKay," he challenges. When Rodney gives him a raised eyebrow and a headshake, he adds, "Well, sheets _and_ pillowcases. What are they, like 17 thread count?"

Still watching, Elizabeth holds a mischievous smirk, but doesn’t say a word. 

John turns to her first, face going full blush as he realizes the conversation that he’d just been having, as well as the implications. "Oh jeez," he manages, then clips Rodney over the ear, glaring at the scientist before turning his attention back to Elizabeth. "Elizabeth, it’s not what you think."

"Ow! Bastard!" Rodney replies, reaching out and flicking John in the ear, earning a backhand against his arm for his efforts. Suddenly Rodney looks around the room, a confused look on his face. "Wait, what do you mean ‘it’s not what you think’?"

John dips his head and pinches the bridge of his nose, all while Elizabeth sits back in her chair, her amused expression not changing. "She thinks we’re _sleeping together_ McKay," he sighs, then quickly turns to Elizabeth and holds out a hand, "Which we’re _not_."

Elizabeth cocks her head to the side and starts to talk, but before she can, Rodney starts in again.

"Wait, sleeping together, like sex?" he belts out. 

"Gentlemen," Elizabeth says, but Rodney doesn’t stop.

Taking a deep breath and garnering a look on his face like he’s about to declare some sort of newly discovered scientific principle, Rodney blurts out, "Sex? No, no, no... We're not having sex, Elizabeth. Though, if we were, it really wouldn't be anyone's business. Would it? And besides, even if we weren't, if you're going to refer to it as sleeping together, then technically _yes_ , we _have_ slept together. On multiple occasions. Like the last time we were on PXR-496, the planet with that weird culture that made us strip down and walk around naked all day? I mean that was an overnight trip, and yes, we bedded down and slept together. Ronon even slept with us that night, too-"

John clipped him over the ear again, and when Rodney turned to him, he barked, "Not helping!"

"Gentlemen," Elizabeth repeats, trying to control the situation.

"But-" Rodney exclaims.

"Rodney," she says, and holds back the smile when John kicks his friend in the shin. "I honestly would not care one way or the other if you and John were sleeping together, or _sleeping together_." She pauses, makes a face, and then says, "Scratch that, I would be happy that you two had found someone. After all, you _are_ pretty compatible with each other on a personality basis, and that's a good thing."

John has the uncanny ability to look both intrigued and embarrassed at the same time. "Yeah, but the Military code-"

"-is an outdated model, and covers just one country, Major. Meanwhile, there is a multinational force under your command, and I cannot ask soldiers to adhere to an old, outdated dogma that should never have been put into action in the first place," Elizabeth finishes.

Both John and Rodney stand there gawping for a few seconds before she asks, "Now then, is there anything else about the subject that you would like to discuss?" as she shuffles some papers.

"I'm just gonna," John says, then grabs Rodney by the arm and leads him back out of Elizabeth's office. Her grin grows when she hears Rodney asking, "What in the hell are you... Oh. OH!" from the other side of the door. But before she even starts to shake her head at her two most senior personnel, there's a thunking of heavy boots that announces John's arrival again - this time without McKay.

"Yeah, we're gonna be late," he says with a wink, and then heads back out into the control room. 

Elizabeth laughs so hard that her cackles echo off the walls.


End file.
